12 Insane Brand Mascots From Our Childhoods
Carly Tennes
Published
Yesterday
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Though we may all know and love McDonald's Grimace, Flo from Progressive and Duo, the Duolingo Owl (may he rest in peace), not all mascots are created equal. Enter these terrifying monstrosities that somehow entered our youth.
From creepy clowns to confusing hybrid creatures, here are 12 insane brand mascots from our childhood.
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1. Mountain Dew’s W— the Hillbilly
Courtesy of Our Nostalgic Memories on RedditBecause nothing says "soft drinks" like the implication of moonshine! -
2. Quiznos' Spongmonkeys
Courtesy of nialldude3 on RedditBoasting big human eyes, tiny, furry bodies, and a look of true horror only seen in '80s slasher flicks, these short-lived Quiznos spokes-creatures were more of an abomination than a sandwich selling point. -
3. Kellogg’s Bigg Mixx
Courtesy of Dave Powers on YouTubeDescribed as a “Chicken-Wolf-Moose-Pig” hybrid, per the Yakima Herald-Republic, this short-lived cereal mascot tried to do a whole lot at once. -
4. The Smith’s Gobbledok
Courtesy of galacticslimelord on RedditThis alien from “the Potato Planet” doesn’t have us buying any chips. -
5. Burger Chef’s Burger Chef and Jeff
Courtesy of AxlCobainVedder on Reddit“Burger Chef and Jeff (mascots for long-departed fast food chain Burger Chef) could be creepy AF (circa 1970s).” -
6. Michelin’s Michelin Man
Courtesy of MichelinThough he may be animated today, the Michelin Man’s ancestors are truly the stuff of nightmares. -
7. McDonald’s Mac Tonight
Courtesy of Randy Lent on YouTubeNo wonder this creepy McDonald’s mascot was co-opted as a part of an even creepier meme. -
8. Mucinex DM’s Mucus
Courtesy of Michael A. Levine on YouTubeMuch like his name implies, this dude is gross. -
9. Honeycomb’s ‘Crazy Craving’ Monster
Courtesy of The Hall of Advertising on YouTubeBoldly asking “what if Gritty was evil *and* addicted to sugar?” Since 1997. -
10. Tooheys' Tongue
Courtesy of AdverTown on YouTubeNothing says “buy my beer” like a tongue worming its way down city streets and into a house party. -
11. Nike’s Swoosh
Courtesy of jr420phantom on Reddit“Back in (1996) Nike spent $125,000 on a superhero mascot called Swoosh to appeal to kids.” -
12. Sugar Rice Krinkles’ Krinkles the Clown
Courtesy of Artinistus on YouTubeThis guy walked so Pennywise could run.
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Mountain Dew’s W— the Hillbilly
Because nothing says "soft drinks" like the implication of moonshine!
Because nothing says "soft drinks" like the implication of moonshine!
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